thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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