currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
two words: eviction party
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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