but the lizard people decide everything anyway
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
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