Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Randomize
