your parents love me but you hate me
So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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