Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
