I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize