I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
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