I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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