And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
