So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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