How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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