4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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