the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
