Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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