She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
