Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
He kissed a someone with a penis
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.