I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk