Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (508): If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it http://tfl.nu/rn2p
  Replies (9) Good night (1030) Bad night (1305)
• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.

  (630): View more from Illinois

  if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (734): cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink. (630): if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan. http://tfl.nu/ows1
  Replies (6) Good night (1325) Bad night (1535)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (206): Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial. http://tfl.nu/2fb2
  Replies (14) Good night (4206) Bad night (578)
• Favorite

  (901): View more from Tennessee

  I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (901): I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game. http://tfl.nu/7tak
  Replies (15) Good night (573) Bad night (2352)
• Favorite

  (316): View more from Kansas

  Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (316): Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair http://tfl.nu/yhl2
  Replies (20) Good night (657) Bad night (3982)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (315): I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree http://tfl.nu/o54r
  Replies (4) Good night (4585) Bad night (691)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (630): Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won. http://tfl.nu/w0xy
  Replies (90) Good night (7111) Bad night (1668)
• Favorite

  (864): View more from South Carolina

  I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (864): I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was. http://tfl.nu/wo9k
  Replies (11) Good night (1835) Bad night (4901)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (404): Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic. http://tfl.nu/dv7k
  Replies (27) Good night (3394) Bad night (5193)
• Favorite

  (859): View more from Kentucky

  I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (859): I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold. http://tfl.nu/cgsp
  Replies (7) Good night (1357) Bad night (780)
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (518): We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer http://tfl.nu/x68v
  Replies (2) Good night (1447) Bad night (423)
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (845): HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW??? http://tfl.nu/wpwb
  Replies (5) Good night (571) Bad night (426)
• Favorite

  (573): View more from Missouri

  I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (573): I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room. http://tfl.nu/g1i7
  Replies (5) Good night (852) Bad night (374)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+44): want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want (1+44): brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall http://tfl.nu/0u3p
  Replies (6) Good night (2031) Bad night (382)
• Favorite

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (832): I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head. http://tfl.nu/ufex
  Replies (1) Good night (417) Bad night (253)

Randomize