ADVERTISEMENT

• (319): View more from Iowa

  True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes

  (847): View more from Illinois

  And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.

  (319): View more from Iowa

  At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.

  Fav 32 4835 994

  share tweet
  

• (920): View more from Wisconsin

  where does the pee come out of this thing

  Fav 13 969 4867

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (214): View more from Texas

  I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.

  Fav 19 7245 1758

  share tweet
  

• (203): View more from Connecticut

  Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line

  Fav 11 1861 5419

  share tweet
  
• 

  23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (949): View more from California

  he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect

  Fav 5 2655 1441

  share tweet
  

• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house

  (1-215): View more from Pennsylvania

  no. you cant fuck a burger.

  Fav 9 2887 1300

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (912): View more from Georgia

  Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.

  Fav 3 1449 822

  share tweet
  

• (337): View more from Louisiana

  The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth

  Fav 14 2901 1113

  share tweet
  

• (828): View more from North Carolina

  I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.

  Fav 11 1283 732

  share tweet
  
• 

  These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (419): View more from Ohio

  So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?

  Fav 8 857 1387

  share tweet
  

• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?

  Fav 2 820 501

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (818): View more from California

  I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit

  Fav 4 388 645

  share tweet
  

• (206): View more from Washington

  I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!

  Fav 3 97 19

  share tweet
  

• (919): View more from North Carolina

  I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.

  Fav 5 114 15

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.

  Fav 1 66 13

  share tweet
  

Randomize