Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (612): I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself http://tfl.nu/0tce
  Replies (6) Good night (688) Bad night (2823)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (732): the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam. http://tfl.nu/4l2e
  Replies (26) Good night (1125) Bad night (6417)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (512): do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule? http://tfl.nu/7un4
  Replies (41) Good night (6908) Bad night (693)
• Favorite

  (765): View more from Indiana

  I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (765): I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan. http://tfl.nu/88ss
  Replies (182) Good night (1388) Bad night (4216)
• Favorite

  (224): View more from Illinois

  finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (224): finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know. http://tfl.nu/xu8i
  Replies (39) Good night (6836) Bad night (931)
• Favorite

  (+61): View more from Australia

  I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+61): I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy. http://tfl.nu/xos0
  Replies (10) Good night (5740) Bad night (858)
• Favorite

  (416): View more from Toronto

  he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (416): he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming. http://tfl.nu/nho3
  Replies (12) Good night (7003) Bad night (1107)
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (817): I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!" http://tfl.nu/bikn
  Replies (2) Good night (3485) Bad night (844)
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (850): idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots' http://tfl.nu/6gvu
  Replies (6) Good night (3139) Bad night (806)
• Favorite

  (618): View more from Illinois

  So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (618): So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date? http://tfl.nu/zipl
  Replies (3) Good night (1814) Bad night (1155)
• Favorite

  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (484): there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now. http://tfl.nu/o3be
  Replies (12) Good night (815) Bad night (1667)
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (619): I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face. http://tfl.nu/43n4
  Replies (4) Good night (1260) Bad night (629)
• Favorite

  (302): View more from Delaware

  Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (302): Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate http://tfl.nu/9c8c
  Replies (2) Good night (916) Bad night (411)
• Favorite

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (401): Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away http://tfl.nu/kl70
  Replies (1) Good night (574) Bad night (259)
• Favorite

  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (262): In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise. http://tfl.nu/9a8z
  Replies (5) Good night (520) Bad night (519)

Randomize