I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
