no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
