I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
