So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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