My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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