Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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