We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
