Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
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