If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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