Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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