Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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