Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
