it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
