i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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