yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
