I just saw a hot homeless man
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
