I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
