2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
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