At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize