my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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