doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I'm too high and old for this...
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
