just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
