i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
