I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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