TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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