Everything about him screamed your future.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come share oat with me in your robe
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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