Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Randomize
