Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
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