I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
