just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
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