So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
