Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
