Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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