Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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