I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
You pole danced in your parka.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
