a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
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