Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
All the doctor said was why
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize
