They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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