Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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