so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
