But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
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