I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Randomize
